Ableism in action

1) I had to buy some new clothes for my partners cousins civil partnership ceremony, I qued up to use the fitting rooms, My partner was standing right next to me holding the pile of clothes as I couldn’t hold them and use my crutches, my partner is obviously male so it was clear he wasn’t waiting to use the woman’s fitting rooms. but the woman organising the fitting rooms spent ages faffing around putting clothes away before she got to me, then as she handed me one of those cards with the number of items on it she said “oh I didn’t realise you were waiting, I was going to ask you to move”

What? why would I have been in the que if I didn’t want to use the fitting rooms, why would my partner be standing beside me with a pile of clothes?

Do disabled women not go shopping? not buy new clothes?

2)After the civil partnership ceremony drinks were served, all the other adults were handed alcoholic drinks, i was handed lemon aid because clearly disabled women cant hold their alcohol

3) My partners sister wanted to take a picture of my partner and myself and told me to move my crutches out the way so they wouldn’t be in the picture, although this seems quite minor this is probably the instance that upset/disturbed me the most. If I’m using my crutches on any given day its because I either have a lot of pain or because walking without them is hard/impossible. Having them out of arms length makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and helpless.

Also being asked to hide them seems to be giving me a signal that i should be ashamed of them and ashamed of my disability

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2 Responses to “Ableism in action”

  1. Oh yeah, clearly you don’t drink alcohol if your joints hurt. I mean, considering you actually digest stuff with your knee-caps.

    Reminds me of a time when a friend of my parents made me pose with a pint of Guiness and thought it was the funniest thing ever. A delicate little waif like me, drinking alcohol!

    Not wanting the crutches in the photo is kind of disturbing, the idea that it’s a perfect memory of a wonderful day and you wouldn’t want them factored into it, or that they’d look ugly in the photo – kind of like, yeah, sorry, you’re invited, as long as you leave a part of you at home.

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