Archive for March, 2008

This is where I came in: Remembering Myself

Posted in Uncategorized on March 16, 2008 by nectarine







This is where I came in and other transgressions.

Posted in Uncategorized on March 15, 2008 by nectarine

I recently had a very drunken, rambling but for me very profound conversation about, transgender, gender diversity, queer, non heterosexuality and alliances and i feel in a way it bought me back to myself, gave me a space to reremember my history, to pay homage to who and what made me partly who I am.

Radical feminism is important to me and has been very healing for me and given me a strong place to stand, but before that there was something else. There was another community of people both in literature and physicaly that I belonged to, that belonged to me, before I found radical feminism, when I was dealing with my non heterosexuality I read everything I could find, to help me feel less abnormal. The first book I ever read that talked about not being straight was okay was Becoming a Man and it was so powerful, so profound, it doesn’t matter to me that it was written by a man, it felt like i was coming up for air. And I read everything I could find about being non heterosexual,

And I read, Pat(rik) Califia, Del(la) grace volcano, Kate Bornstien, Joan Nestle, Camile Paglia and many people who I cant remember the names of but who made it okay to be me, made it okay to be queer

It was then i met one of the people I have been most attracted to in my whole life, a preoperative transman, we absolutely zinged, there was an incredible chemistry between us

and I played femme, real high lesbian femme, because it made me feel beautiful, because I liked the sort of women it attracted, i went out with a woman for two and a half years who was so butch she got called sir, who was way more masculine than my current partner who is male

And when i wasn’t playing femme i was doing soft butch baby dyke, the uniform then was Khakis and strappy tops

I have always been Kiki who I am being and how i am dressing depends on how I am feeling, where I feel I am on the gender and sexuality spectrum at that point.

I lived in a big shared house that was always full of people that didn’t live there and almost all of us were some form of queer: bi, gay, lesbian, trans, undecided, unlabeled, We were young desperate, vulnerable, many of us parentless or faced the possibility of becoming parent less if our parents found out who we were, and many of us were crazy because the pressure of living in a homophobic heterosexist society wore us out, wore us down, there was a place to sleep if parental prejudice created homelessness, we fed each other when we were poor, we mopped up the blood weather it was self inflicted or weather it was a homophobic attack. we visited each other when we ended up in the psychiatric hospital, we went clubbing every weekend to celebrate being us, to celebrate our love for us, to celebrate survival

I have never felt so much that people I loved had my back as I did then, and we didn’t care, it didn’t matter who was fucking who, or how, or what shape their genitals were, or weather they were buying into gender roles.

And I think this, the need for purity is often what stagnates movements because people make alliances with people for reasons other than gender and people make alliances with other people who are similarly oppressed even if that crosses gender lines and people are messy and beautiful and we find our joy and our freedom in unexpected people and situations.

I have always lived on edges and boundaries and I think edges and boundaries are where the truths are, shoring up the boundaries to hard doesn’t create safety, it creates a trap.

for most of my life I have been very fractured and I have only recently, like in the last year been able to start weaving myself back together. Its time to start weaving the queer part of myself together with the radical feminist part of myself, so none of me, none of who I honestly am, gets left behind

Mental health blog up and running!

Posted in Activism on March 10, 2008 by nectarine

We only have two posts so far and posting may be somewhat eratic but

Here it is!

This is what I came here for

Posted in Uncategorized on March 9, 2008 by nectarine

This spring from the heart of the mountain runs cool and clear, runs with the knowledge of womens pain, poverty and fear, but also the sound of our laughter and fingerlinked power, quenching the thirst. Fullfilling the need for each others voices, histories, eyes, Saturating us with the knowledge that this stream will wear away the rock and become a river, a torrent to change the shape of the landscape with.

(IWD left me buzzing with joy!)

Thoughts on the abortion rights demo

Posted in Activism on March 5, 2008 by nectarine

[EDIT: I notice I’ve been linked by some pro life blogs, While I respect their right to do that I do not want this post used as fodder to explain that the pro choice position is wrong, I am and always will be 100 percent pro choice]

Last night I went to the abortion rights protest against the pro life road show in Cardiff, protesting is important and obviously abortion rights are really, really important but the way the protest happened really disturbed me.

From the off I was kind of annoyed, as we started gathering one of the protesters pointed out another group of people and there was some discussion on weather they were there for the roadshow or the protest and she said “I don’t think they are pro life they look too nice.” I think that’s really unacceptable firstly aren’t we about getting away from judging people on what they look like, but also because pro lifers are not bad people, they are not nasty people. They absolutely believe what they are doing is right and moral.

The protesters arranged themselves right outside the door of the city temple with a walkway between the middle of them that was just narrow enough to those going to the roadshow to walk through, then when those attending (some of whom were older people and the majority of whom were female) walked through the protesters chanted slogans really loudly, which must have been incredibly intimidating. Some of those in the front rows of the protest were male and from what I could see were the most vocal. So there’s a situation where men are shouting at women and telling them what to think.

If we want to protest and make a difference protesting then we need to unpack and discard the patriarchal attitudes that say the best way to make people do what we want them to is through intimidation and aggression. And really left wing men need to unpack their male privilege and think about how shouting at women because they are doing something they don’t want them to do is upholding a capitalist patriarchal system. Also while I think its good that men are involved in the abortion rights movement if as feminists we believe it is not okay for men to tell women how to think and behave then it shouldn’t be okay for men to tell any woman how to think and behave, even if we find her politics to be reprehensible

I also had a problem with the chanting. One of the chants was ““Pro-life, that’s a lie – you don’t care if women die” I think this is really, really unhelpful. I grew up in a very right wing hard line church that was very anti abortion and although it did many damaging things to women, and had many rules on women’s submission and inferiority, the pro life position is not about carelessly killing women, the pro life position is not about women being less than men. In fact the pro life position from a philosophical perspective is extremely logical

1)Humanity begins at conception

2)Abortion kills the human in the womb

2)Killing humans is wrong/sinful

3) Therefore abortion is wrong/sinful

While it lacks compassion for women it makes perfect sense that a person who thinks a foetus is as human as the woman carrying it wouldn’t think that the woman had the”right” to “Kill” another human being.

Telling the opposition what they think and getting it wrong does not help the cause. It makes us look stupid and vindictive. We don’t appreciate it when they do it to us so we shouldn’t do it to them.

We need to be a movement that understands what pro lifers actualy think so we can refute their actual arguments and not straw ones, we need to be a movement that doesnt use the tactics of the status quo to try and get people to change.We need to be a movement that doesnt automaticaly write pro lifers off as nasty/evil/woman hating